Wrapping up the Center Garden

I feel the need to post a sort of concluding message about the center garden. The message of that garden is fairly simple though so I don't expect this to be a long post. I must remind myself that not every post needs to be long. Part of this is an exercise in the practice of writing.

We've looked at the broad ideas of the center garden. That you must find a balance within yourself. Learn about yourself. Love yourself. Find what you enjoy, what you do well. Take pride in yourself. Be realistic though. Know your limitations as well and your weaknesses.

You don't need to wait until you die to find serenity and joy. You don't need to give up parts of yourself to be happy. It may be difficult and work and a challenge but you can be happy with this life. You just need to know yourself first, mentally, emotionally, physically.

A Dream

Today is the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington. I'm not entirely sure how much emphasis this gets in schools anymore, both in and outside of the US. Still, Dr. King's message and speeches are a source of inspiration for many and a rallying cry for any that feel oppressed and ignored within the US.

Now, I'm white. I come from a middle class family. I've gone to college and worked. I've traveled outside of the US. I've also had months where I don't know how I can afford food, worry that the lights are about to shut off, and am trying not to think about where the month for next month's rent will come from. I like to think I've gotten to see a decent amount of the financial spectrum. That said, I know that I haven't ever had to live in fear of my life. I haven't had to worry about losing my job because of my skin color. Or sexual orientation. Or religious beliefs. I haven't had to worry that I may lose my home or fear for my physical safety because of any of these things.

Still, when I got on to G+ this morning, I saw one of the most wonderfully written things mimicking and adapting Dr. King's I Have A Dream speech.

"I have a dream. That we will face our inequalities. That we will admit that our racism, hate and sexism is a product of our fear of the unknown. That all people are worth while, worth the smile and hello on the street, letting that one car in when they want to move over in heavy traffic, and even if we don't like an idea it deserves the respect of a healthy debate. I have a dream that we will judge people on the content of our character but not the way we look, live or work."

My girlfriend wrote that. It both made me smile and remember the reasons I love her as well as give me hope. These are some of the things I hope people strive for. This is part of walking the path. It is another way to say it and another way to look at it. Its truth rings out just as much though.

I wanted to place this thought somewhere I could easily find it again so I could look at it and remember. As this blog is also to share my ideas of the Path I started to walk, it seems appropriate to share this here.

The Center Garden- Forbidden things

The last point I'll make in the center garden is typically the source of a lot of controversy in the US. It doesn't just exist in the center garden though, this is the third part of the Path itself. The first was Elua's lesson- Love as thou wilt. Shemhazai's was the second- All knowledge is worth having. The third is the purview of Naamah- desire and physicality.

As I mentioned in a prior post, the Path is a emotional, mental, and physical thing. The center garden is about yourself. About knowing and understanding yourself and from this, loving and accepting yourself. Naamah's lessons of desire really take bloom in the next garden, but here is where her basis begins.

America is greatly divided on anything regarding sex. There is a perception that the majority of parents don't want to talk to their kids about it. It's suppose to be an adult thing. It's something for after marriage. It's forbidden, taboo, and EVERYWHERE in our marketing strategies. Because we don't want to talk about it, because we're a bit obsessed with it, we send very conflicting messages about sex. So I'll make my stance on it very clear.

Sex is a positive and healthy thing.

And as long as it's between two (or more) coherent and consenting adults (by the legal definition), I don't particularly care how you do it. But we'll deal with sex with other people in a later post. Right now, we're looking at you.

Do you know what makes you happy? Honestly?

So much media noise is about a hetero monogamous missionary couple. We do start to see homosexual partners. But still monogamous. Still, as the kink community would call it, vanilla. Kink is starting to hit mainstream a little with the 50 Shades series. But it's still a scandalous thing. Censorship has little problem with the idea of a guy reaching climax, but heaven forbid the implication of a woman reaching climax without her male partner also climaxing. (Ie- implication of a guy receiving oral vs woman receiving vs a couple post sex) So much noise telling us sex is suppose to be done a certain way and if you don't, you're wrong.

Truthfully, they are wrong.

There is a whole spectrum of ways to be physical. With yourself. With another. With many others. The important thing to remember is, again borrowing from the kink community, keep it safe, sane, and consensual. I'm fairly certain you're not going to hit upon a new fetish. You're not weird if you realize you're not into sex itself or that you can't seem to function without many partners. Ace's and poly folk are out there. The first step is simply learning about yourself.

I could tell you about all the ways you can enjoy yourself. But my perspective is just that. Mine. I have no idea what you may like. For about half the population, I don't even have the required parts to understand it. So I encourage you to learn. The internet is a fantastic resource. Just watch out on the porn sites. It's easy to accidentally see something you don't want.

This is a continual process. Tastes change. Physiology changes. What you didn't like 5 years ago may be something you're into now. Or vise versa. That's okay too. Remember. Learn, understand, accept, love. All parts of you; mental, emotional, physical. If we start to look toward the next garden, those immediately around you, how can you explain your wants and needs to them if you don't truly understand them yourself.

New blooms

Let's take a look at something new today. We've talked about divine ideals, getting to know yourself, and how one either likes or hates the things around them. Let's look at what is commonly thought of as a sin. Well, commonly in Western society. Though I do believe many other cultures look down on this as well.

Pride.

Thought I was going to say Lust, didn't you? Don't worry that will be in a different post.

So. Pride. This commonly comes up when I start talking about getting to know yourself and learning to like and love who and what you are and do. You start to find the things you're good at. You start to enjoy them because, you're good at them. But wait, that's Pride. That's suppose to be bad, right? I mean nobody likes an arrogant ass.

And right there you've hit upon the difference.

Most of the time, arrogance and pride go hand in hand. If you're prideful about what you're good at, you get arrogant. Or so the common thought goes. But think. I'm sure there is at least one person in your life that is simply amazing at something. Cooking, singing, writing, coding, reading, math, sports, the list goes on and on. Now, some of those people will flaunt that they're good at it. Think through the list though. In that list you should find a few that don't. They quietly accept your praise, smile, nod, and move on. Some of these people will think you're being nice. Some know that this is something they're good at but they don't need to flaunt it. What they do speaks for itself. That is the Pride I'm referring to.

From a historical perspective, Pride as a sin makes sense. With a large population indoctrinated against pride, it was easier to exploit lower classes. If they don't take pride in their work, how will they see value in it? Today that societal restriction isn't required to be in place.Yes, there's still class division and exploitation of the disadvantaged and a number of other things. The need for the common man to not feel pride in themselves for society to function is greatly reduced, however. The powers that be will not force you be shunned or beaten or punished for it.

Understand, though, the difference between pride and arrogance. It's can be a very fine one. The simplest comes down to a realistic understanding of what you're doing. It comes back to knowing yourself. Arrogance comes in most commonly when you think you're better than you are and you feel the need to prove yourself. There are times though when it's simply pride with malicious intent. Which, if that's the case, well, go back to the last post and take a look and the ideas of understanding and love.

So really, this is more of a continuation off of getting to know yourself. You're going to find things you're good at. Enjoy them. Take pride in it.

Just keep a realistic idea of it.

Small things

Once a month, I drive ~250 mi and work in Seattle. Usually leave on Friday or Saturday, come home Sunday. Gives me a chance to see friends, maybe a fun thing or two, as well as work.

This time, I got to hang out with a good friend of mine around the university. As we were walking, deciding on dinner we passed a convenience store with a... Well, very likely a bum, sitting out front. My friend and I turn to go in and the bum speaks up.

Now, both of us figured he was going to ask for change. It's what most of them do. This man was different. He asked if one of us would be kind enough to surprise him with one of two beverages. Either Dairygold's chocolate or strawberry milk.

Change, I'd turn down. Beer I'd turn down. But milk? I can spare the ~$3 for that. Especially for the look of shear delight on his face when I handed him a bottle of strawberry milk.

After dinner, my friend and I are headed back to his place when a piece of paper on the ground catches my eye. Pausing to look at it, I quickly realize what I thought looked like an acct number is actually a social security number. Somebody had dropped their social security benefits statement.
For those that don't know, there's easily enough information on that document for anybody to commit identity fraud.

Quick check of the address (and nothing else) reveals they're more than a bit of a walk from here. That letter is getting remailed along with a note of where it was find and a recommendation to check for identity theft.

Both of these things are small acts. I didn't even think about posting then until I was talking with others about the path in general. I was reminded; it's not about the big things, but the little ways you change your life to help others. Will these count toward my seasonal total? Not unless I do a lot more of them. Like 10 total. But the thing to remember is not every act needs to be big. It's about how you live your life.

Updates

Yes. They're going to be irregular.

I'd love to get these down to a regular thing. Like every Monday or something. Maybe Thursdays? Not much happens on Thursdays it seems. Ooh. Today is Thursday... maybe... Right, anyway. The catch is, my life is chaotic. Mostly because I try to do too much stuff. Maybe I'll be able to get ahead and write a few more in advanced and then set them to autopost.

That's the ideal.

Probably? These will be catch as catch can. I'm also not always going to post to my G+ acct that I've updated. Primarily because I don't like doing that. I feel like I'm harassing you to come read my blog. But I do want you to know there are updates. Thus! There is an RSS feed. Use it. Love it. I've been enjoying commafeed.com since Google Reader went down (Damn you Google!) For those of you on RSS's, feel free to share which ones you use.

Now, I'm going to go be a pirate for a few days and think about how to talk about the Center Garden some more and mentally layout my next charity post- small things.

The Center Garden- Foundation

Last post, I talked about how we're all mortal beings with wants and needs. Which, in reality, is a fairly banal sentiment. I point it out, however, to contrast many of the existing world philosophies.

Many have you strive toward a "divine ideal", be it a moral code or enlightenment or what not. This is not an inherently bad thing. Bettering yourself is good. The catch is many of these beliefs ask/require you to leave behind some/most/all mortal desires. The very things that we are. This I do not agree with.

The foundation of the center garden is also the foundation to the path itself. Of the 8 angels to follow Elua, Shemhazai taught the motto "All knowledge is worth having." The path is three fold; learn and understand, love, and accept; mentally, physically, and emotionally.

As people, we either love or hate something. Like or dislike. There are very few things in which we are indifferent. This includes ourselves. We may joke the only thing constant is death and taxes or change, but the truth is the only thing that will always be in your life is you.  You will always be with you. Which seems like a fairly simple thing. How could you leave yourself?

Actually, it's fairly easy to do. They're called distractions. I really think they're more like addictions. It's easier to level your Druid in WoW than to think about yourself beyond the "Did I have dinner?". TV, books, games, food, other people... and yes, gambling, sex, drugs; there are tons of ways in which we distract ourselves from our Self. But sit here and think about yourself. About what you're doing. About what your work, your home, your relationship, your philosophies, your actions... all of it. Somewhere, you'll know. You will either love (or like) where you are going or hate (dislike) it, or even fear it. Machiavelli has probably one of the most famous quotes in regards to love and fear.

"Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with."

And while this may apply to leading people, in truth, it can apply to more than just that. The problem is that loving something takes work. Anybody that's tried to host a large party can tell you how hard it is to please everybody. Individual wants and needs. Experiences that may be fine to one person but trigger another. There are, I think, as many different needs for love as there are people.
 
Fear or dislike, on the other hand, is much easier. Humans are fairly basic beings. Our fears are well documented and can be used in science as a collective much easier than love. Which is something Machiavelli gets at- it is easier to be feared than loved. Even if can get you killed in the end.

This applies to ourselves as well. Look at the beauty industry, fashion, the media... So much of it is about how you can look better, feel better, do better, be better. Most of this plays on our fears, our dislike, of ourselves. Take the steps to learn about yourself. Take the steps to understand yourself. From there, you can grow and (hopefully) learn to like or love yourself. Don't confuse it with complacency though. Letting yourself become morbidly obese because you've discovered you love sweet things is not loving yourself. It's a good way to slowly or stealthily kill yourself.

There's still a bit more to the center garden, but we'll get to that in a later post. Right now, start to get to know yourself and face those fears about yourself. They're not as scary as you think. I promise.