Small things

Once a month, I drive ~250 mi and work in Seattle. Usually leave on Friday or Saturday, come home Sunday. Gives me a chance to see friends, maybe a fun thing or two, as well as work.

This time, I got to hang out with a good friend of mine around the university. As we were walking, deciding on dinner we passed a convenience store with a... Well, very likely a bum, sitting out front. My friend and I turn to go in and the bum speaks up.

Now, both of us figured he was going to ask for change. It's what most of them do. This man was different. He asked if one of us would be kind enough to surprise him with one of two beverages. Either Dairygold's chocolate or strawberry milk.

Change, I'd turn down. Beer I'd turn down. But milk? I can spare the ~$3 for that. Especially for the look of shear delight on his face when I handed him a bottle of strawberry milk.

After dinner, my friend and I are headed back to his place when a piece of paper on the ground catches my eye. Pausing to look at it, I quickly realize what I thought looked like an acct number is actually a social security number. Somebody had dropped their social security benefits statement.
For those that don't know, there's easily enough information on that document for anybody to commit identity fraud.

Quick check of the address (and nothing else) reveals they're more than a bit of a walk from here. That letter is getting remailed along with a note of where it was find and a recommendation to check for identity theft.

Both of these things are small acts. I didn't even think about posting then until I was talking with others about the path in general. I was reminded; it's not about the big things, but the little ways you change your life to help others. Will these count toward my seasonal total? Not unless I do a lot more of them. Like 10 total. But the thing to remember is not every act needs to be big. It's about how you live your life.

Updates

Yes. They're going to be irregular.

I'd love to get these down to a regular thing. Like every Monday or something. Maybe Thursdays? Not much happens on Thursdays it seems. Ooh. Today is Thursday... maybe... Right, anyway. The catch is, my life is chaotic. Mostly because I try to do too much stuff. Maybe I'll be able to get ahead and write a few more in advanced and then set them to autopost.

That's the ideal.

Probably? These will be catch as catch can. I'm also not always going to post to my G+ acct that I've updated. Primarily because I don't like doing that. I feel like I'm harassing you to come read my blog. But I do want you to know there are updates. Thus! There is an RSS feed. Use it. Love it. I've been enjoying commafeed.com since Google Reader went down (Damn you Google!) For those of you on RSS's, feel free to share which ones you use.

Now, I'm going to go be a pirate for a few days and think about how to talk about the Center Garden some more and mentally layout my next charity post- small things.

The Center Garden- Foundation

Last post, I talked about how we're all mortal beings with wants and needs. Which, in reality, is a fairly banal sentiment. I point it out, however, to contrast many of the existing world philosophies.

Many have you strive toward a "divine ideal", be it a moral code or enlightenment or what not. This is not an inherently bad thing. Bettering yourself is good. The catch is many of these beliefs ask/require you to leave behind some/most/all mortal desires. The very things that we are. This I do not agree with.

The foundation of the center garden is also the foundation to the path itself. Of the 8 angels to follow Elua, Shemhazai taught the motto "All knowledge is worth having." The path is three fold; learn and understand, love, and accept; mentally, physically, and emotionally.

As people, we either love or hate something. Like or dislike. There are very few things in which we are indifferent. This includes ourselves. We may joke the only thing constant is death and taxes or change, but the truth is the only thing that will always be in your life is you.  You will always be with you. Which seems like a fairly simple thing. How could you leave yourself?

Actually, it's fairly easy to do. They're called distractions. I really think they're more like addictions. It's easier to level your Druid in WoW than to think about yourself beyond the "Did I have dinner?". TV, books, games, food, other people... and yes, gambling, sex, drugs; there are tons of ways in which we distract ourselves from our Self. But sit here and think about yourself. About what you're doing. About what your work, your home, your relationship, your philosophies, your actions... all of it. Somewhere, you'll know. You will either love (or like) where you are going or hate (dislike) it, or even fear it. Machiavelli has probably one of the most famous quotes in regards to love and fear.

"Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with."

And while this may apply to leading people, in truth, it can apply to more than just that. The problem is that loving something takes work. Anybody that's tried to host a large party can tell you how hard it is to please everybody. Individual wants and needs. Experiences that may be fine to one person but trigger another. There are, I think, as many different needs for love as there are people.
 
Fear or dislike, on the other hand, is much easier. Humans are fairly basic beings. Our fears are well documented and can be used in science as a collective much easier than love. Which is something Machiavelli gets at- it is easier to be feared than loved. Even if can get you killed in the end.

This applies to ourselves as well. Look at the beauty industry, fashion, the media... So much of it is about how you can look better, feel better, do better, be better. Most of this plays on our fears, our dislike, of ourselves. Take the steps to learn about yourself. Take the steps to understand yourself. From there, you can grow and (hopefully) learn to like or love yourself. Don't confuse it with complacency though. Letting yourself become morbidly obese because you've discovered you love sweet things is not loving yourself. It's a good way to slowly or stealthily kill yourself.

There's still a bit more to the center garden, but we'll get to that in a later post. Right now, start to get to know yourself and face those fears about yourself. They're not as scary as you think. I promise.

Heart of the Garden

A number of years ago, I read a book called Night Gardening. It was a delightful love story about a late in life romance started by the couple's mutual passion for gardening. One of the things the gentleman said in regards to gardening has always stuck with me.

"With real gardeners- ... -there was usually one place where their soul and that of the garden's met. The step gardens were that place for her."

I have found this, over the years, to be true about a number of things. A small grain of a thought will take root in your mind and from that single point, things will begin to take shape. You may dance around this heart a thousand times trying to convey it without realizing. But there it is.

Here is the kernel to which my philosophies started from. Describing it takes a bit longer, but I need to give you the basis it came from first.

Jacquelyn Carey created a pantheon for her Kushiel's Legacy series. Elua, the head of this pantheon, is born from the blood of Yeshua bin Yosef and the tears of the Magdalen. In the world's history, he is joined by eight angels and travels the world preaching one message. Love as thou wilt. He is eventually approached by the One God's Host to join his grandfather in Heaven. Elua's response is this:

"He scored the palm of his own hand and where his blood fell on the earth anemones bloomed. Elua refused saying, 'My grandfather's Heaven is bloodless and I am not. Let him offer a better place, where we may love and sing and grow as we are wont, where our children and our children's children may join us, and I will go.' "

Many religions offer a place of salvation for the afterlife. Somewhere we will go that all will be well. No suffering, no injustice, no harm. Where one will be rejoined with all that they've lost whether that's people or understanding or enlightenment. Where we can join in the chorus singing praises to the Divine or contemplate the steps we have taken along our road to enlightenment.

The catch is, it's the afterlife. This life, we are told and taught, is full of suffering and injustice and that is simply the way it is. Just get through this and all will be well in the end.

The lesson I took from Elua is such: We are mortal. We are blood and bone and sinew. We have wants and needs and desires. We may have divine influence in our life, be it blessed as a chosen follower, following karmic paths, or being touched by his noodley appendage; but at the end of the day, we are still mortal. To strive for an afterlife that is free of our wants and desires, of our toil and suffering, is understandable. Living is hard. But those very wants, desires, longings, and sufferings are the things that define us; that make us human. Cherish the things that make us so. Live this life. If there comes an afterlife in which all of those things that make us human are gone and that is what you want, than I wish you well in it. I, however, am going to shape my life to love and sing and grow as I am want to do.

60-100 years is a long time to wait for peace and serenity. The first step on this path is to accept that this is the life you are living.

Strolling

This entry has been a bit difficult to write, I'll admit.

How do you compact close to 30 years of experiences and exploration that culminate and crystallize into a series of ideas that now shape how you live your life?

I suppose the easy thing to do would be to not. Don't bother defining the path. Don't bother explaining my philosophies or why I'm doing my acts of charity other than to say "It's a good thing to do".

The problem is, I want you to understand. I want you to look at this and see the outline of the path, to understand what it's made of, and see where it goes. That way, if you like this particular path, you can walk it too. I don't want these to just be my isolated foot prints as I walk along. There's more to this than just I can enact.

So I suppose we should start at the beginning. If we're going to continue with the paths analogy, then let me describe the garden we'll be strolling through. Unlike many paths, this one won't start at the edge of the garden and through it. This one will start at it's heart and move out, spiraling. Along the path, there are smaller paths, smaller gardens within. By walking along the path outward, you should go through each of these smaller gardens to a degree, but it's also possible to stroll through them deeper than I'll likely go in these entries.

Oh yes. Another reason to write about the path. So there's more to this blog than just stories.

Mind you. This philosophy is a collection of my own experiences and observations. I don't expect it to make sense to others immediately. Or ever. I am, however, interested in sharing them with you, and seeing what you think of them

...I am, however, going to chicken out and start describing the path in the next post. Cause it really is it's own set of ideas and ideals.